Yesterday I filled in the role of God.


I would love to believe that God watches over the weak and innocent. I would be comfortable knowing that my existence is frameworked under the ever watchful eye of the Supreme Being. But life has taught me otherwise. God does not occupy itself with meddling in the mundane things of the world. God has no "invisible hand" as much as it doesn't have an invisible tentacle.

This God remains a mystery.

Whether it is because of the consequences of the randomness of the universe or whether some event was pre-arranged by higher forms of consciousness,  recently there was a moment where I could choose selfishly and obtain something I longed for. These moments have always been as clear as day to me. I've always known right from wrong and discerned selfishness from selflessness.

So... a few days ago I was treated to the most moving display of loyalty and love, by someone I had already decided to move on from. It was there and then that I had to make this hard choice. To be or not to be the protector of the weak and the broken. I had no intention to, honestly, but I came to realize that I was no simple witness to this display of loyalty and love. I had myself sparked it and had nurtured it until it became what I had with Her.

I looked at her with renewed eyes, knowing deep inside that I had what I had always wanted: my soulmate.

Life lives through me, and not I through life.
No I, no my, not mine, no knower, just knowledge.
I am that.
Kodoish kodoish kodoish Adonai Tsebayoth.
Hari Om Tat Sat.

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